i don't know..
i don't feel myself progressing. i don't feel myself learning. i don't feel myself improving.
and i've made that stupid Stupid STUPID mistake which i never should have!!
it's not as if i didn't know. i did. and now i just can't forgive myself for forgetting.
i'm upset and sad all the time. i'm not happy. i think i like my job. but i don't seem to be enjoying myself. the littlest things can trigger my tears and i REALLY DO NOT LIKE IT!!
everyone says that i'm just expecting too much of myself and that i should just relax. that i'm not as bad as i think i am and to give myself a break since i'm just 2 weeks old.
everyone tells me to try a while more and evaluate again. but when is this going to end?!
and for that one bloody mistake which i'm absolutely sorry for, when i already can't forgive myself, half the world is still hot on my case despite it having happened days ago!!
and every other person is asking me about my preference in OTS. and the higher-ups are perpetually telling me that i can ask for a transfer to DSC ward should i really not like scrub. but think about it, if i really am that aversive to being in OTS, i would have asked Sister Lay Hoon to take me out and put me back in the ward long before now!! the only reason why i haven't done so is because i want to give myself a chance to learn new things in OTS. so why on earth would i want to be transferred to DSC ward?!
argh!! how on earth am i going to make myself be understood by those people?!
[help. come save me. anybody.]
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why does it have to be winter when you're alone?
The Apostle's Creed
I believe in God the Father Almighty,
Maker of heaven and earth;
And in Jesus Christ
His only Son our Lord:
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried;
the third day He rose from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
and sitteth at the right hand of
God the Father Almighty;
from thence He shall come to judge
the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. AMEN
Maker of heaven and earth;
And in Jesus Christ
His only Son our Lord:
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried;
the third day He rose from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
and sitteth at the right hand of
God the Father Almighty;
from thence He shall come to judge
the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. AMEN
tag me!!
why does it have to be winter when you're alone?
~about her~
- -stars fall from the night sky-
- destined not to be loved, she loves herself. loves indulging in unrealistic daydreams.
-you-
Trust His Heart
All things work for our own good
though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our heart intwo
Sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
And you just can't see him,
Remember He's still on the throne.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
When you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart.
He sees the Master plan
He holds the future in His hands.
So don't live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
But He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry, He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him
though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our heart intwo
Sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
And you just can't see him,
Remember He's still on the throne.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
When you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart.
He sees the Master plan
He holds the future in His hands.
So don't live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
But He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry, He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him
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