haven't blogged in about a month!! alot of things happened... and, well, i'm really not that happy... so what's making me so upset/pissed/frustrated these few days..? well, st john as usual... more specifically, OTC.
yea, i failed my OTC theory paper... so i'll have to return my rank so... i feel like such a failure... i've already been trying my best, yet...
i'm damn pissed.
OTC came at a time where i had project presentations, exams, attachment, ICAs. i couldn't cope. i really can't.
and what's more. they're judging my ability as an officer based on a theory paper which bears few, if any, relevance to the actual running of a corps! and based on that, they're denying me and all the efforts i've ever put in for st john!! i hate this. i hate this system. i think i hate st john.
been talking to jj about this. he says, this may be the time for me to leave st john. is it, really? i don't know... should i?
spoke to mdm yati about it today. i thought i've gotten over it. i thought i'm ok now. i thought i've accepted it. but it turns out, i haven't. i was so sad, i could feel the tears in my eyes!
gosh, my blog makes me sound like someone with hyperactive tear glands..
but like i told mdm yati, going for OTC has never been about the zone/hq. it has never been and will never be. my motivation in st john is my cadets in BP. this, i'm clear. so, i guess, since st john would still welcome me back, i would probably still hang on... at least until the next ROD...
on a happier note. i got a new hp.. yea, finally got rid of the old one... i love my new phone.. yea..
i'm meeting up with my gang on sat...1 of them can't make it, but i guess, can't be helped...
right in the middle of exams now... so yea... gotta go study!!
oh, received my new mentoring assignment. bah!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
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