*wondering*

as i take on more responsibilities, i'm seriously wondering what i really want to do... what's motivating me to take on more responsibilities/activities than i can cope? what do i get out of it all at the end of the day? i wonder...

trying to settle into my new post as the secretary of SNASC now... find their files in a gigantic mess?! changing things into the way i'm used to and like... ie. the UG way... lolz... never realised that my secretaries have to work so hard just to produce up to standard meeting minutes... will try not to be so hard on them now... but when i do scold them, i've got all the more authority 'cos i can do exactly the same thing and more!! watch out man.

the new SJAB committee has been announced. pardon me, but suddely, i just feel that the new committee is just going to keep giving me MORE problems... related to who is in what department, no less... o well, at least i know that there's a few i can definitely count on to get things done...
still waiting for news regarding OTC... will call up 1 of the TICs soon...

inter-school debate is finally over...!! SHS B, allied health team, won... woo hoo!! we won!! mr bernard generously agreed to burn a BIG hole in his pocket... he's standing treat... wahaha...!! he has got NO idea what he's getting himself into...

man, i miss erene... wondering how she's doing and everything... but really cant find the time to talk to her, or even e-mail her... nevermind, my holidays are coming... will develop the photos we took then send them to her along with a long loong looong letter...

gtg!! got class!!

一直很安静

空荡的街景想找个人放感情
做这种决定是寂寞与我为邻
我们的爱情像你路过的风景
一直在进行脚步却从来不会为我而停

给你的爱一直很安静
来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影
我却始终不能有姓名

给你的爱一直很安静
来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影
我却始终不能有姓名

给你的爱一直很安静
我从一开始就下定决心
以为自己要的是曾经
却发现爱一定要有回音

我们的爱情像你路过的风景
一直在进行脚步却从来不会为我而停

给你的爱一直很安静
来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影
我却始终不能有姓名

给你的爱一直很安静
除了泪在我的脸上任性
原来缘份是用来说明
你突然不爱我这件事情

bad...

just came back from chalet today. and it's really bad. first, the chalet literally stink to the heavens. then, very few people actually came. plus, there were some un-invited guests. furthermore, there was not enough food and no drinks. it was a whole series of mis-adventures... poorly organised and terribly carried out. and weiliang really super pissed me out!! but that's another story.

but while i was lamenting the lousiness of it all, i realised that i've been too wrapped up in my own world. for though i can sense his sadness, and i could guess the source, but i couldn't and didn't do anything about it. so when we talked and the beach last night, his tears humbled me. i've been too uncaring and insensitive. what kind of person am i?! i promised to be there for you but i wasn't. i said i would be the lighthouse to lead you home and away from dangers, but where was i?

a thousand things to say but this is not the place to do it.
gosh. i feel lousy.
can't believe i actually abandoned my family and friends for this lousy experience. but then again, without lousy experiences, how would i know which ones are wonderful?




[the road may seem arduous now. but when it's all over and you finally look back, you'll see that the overwhelming obstacles now are but grains of sand in your shoes.]

18

i'm finally 18!!

i realise, that it it now time to put behind all my wilfulness and selfishness. it is really time to grow and start taking responsibilities for all that i do. so for this year, i've set out a few resolutions for myself.

1) be more tolerant of stupid people.
2) forget him.
3) grow up.

18, a year of aspirations and dreams. 18 years of being taken care of, it's now time for me to take taking care of others.

yet i'm afraid that i will wake up one day to find that all the people who stand by me have gone. but the people i need to stand by just grows in increasing numbers.


[you can only see the brightest stars in the darkest nights.]

[you may not always see them, but the stars are always there. ]

[the stars will guide you home. ]

i want to be a star.





[i'll just close my eyes and pretend to be a star.]

pizza hut again...

not that i mind pizza hut but i really don't like surprises like that. i've already condescended to have an extra member in our gang but she CANNOT upset all our plans just because she's vegetarian and chose to conceal it until we're all queuing at Seoul Garden. it's not fair. it's irresponsible. it's irritating. she's STUPID!! come on. please. besides. she has got absolutely NO sense of propriety!! i mean, not that i really mind her coming along... the more the merrier. but it's just too blatantly obvious that she belongs to a different league. imagine someone who needs most of your words literally explained and never gets any jokes even while the rest are laughing. she cracks jokes which nobody understands and laughs by herself in such a loud and boisterous manner that it's emberrassing. it's a disgrace being out with her. yea. tolerance. but, whatever. i'm pissed. i'm damned pissed.

sick sia.

damn it. i'm sick?! got URTI... cough, sore throat, runny nose, fever... damn.
totally "voice-less"... how to go for deabte?! and there's 2 sessions tomorrow... SHS debate follwed by CADC... argh...!!!

anyway, went to BP to hand in the OTC stuff to Mdm. Yati today. found out that someone else is actually going but she may not be able to make it due to SYF in june... well... i guess it's good... we can help each other instead of 1 person shouldering the whole burden...

smsed Jie a bit about OTC... the only thing i can say is, thanks. i'm going to need a lot of support to see OTC through and i just want to say thanks to all my guys who said that they'll support me and stand by me.

Jie, you're not being selfish when you wish that i will go OTC... 'cos i'm the one who's selfish around here... i kept thinking about myself and the load that i carry... forgetting that i have a commitment and responsibility to you guys.

i've chosen the path to take and i'll walk the path i've chosen. God will stand by me and walk with me. Father i pray, please help me to walk the steadfast road and choose wisely. help me to make decisions for the good of everyone and may the choices i make by inspired by You for the good of Your kingdom. Father, bless me in all my endeavours.
School,
St. John (including OTC),
Debate,
SHS club,
Student Union,
SNA,
Mentoring,
Poly PEP,
Wesley Kids In Discovery,
Crisis Relief Wesley.
Father, i commit all these unto you. help me to see them through and through them, grow i You.
I pray all these in Jesus' most precious name. Amen.





[drugged by all the medicines i'm taking. going to S-L-E-E-P.]

你那么爱她

直到爱消失你才懂去珍惜

身边每个美好风景只是它早离去

直到你想通他早已经不再对你

留恋最后的你开始了一段挣扎

你那么爱她为什么不把她留下

为什么不说心里话

你深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

你那么爱她为什么不把她留下

是不是你有深爱的两个她

所以你不想再让自己无法自拔