原来

街灯绊住我眼前
下一步
拉长的影子
嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹
说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句一句
话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

会有那么一天

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深
但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说到
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一
天我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔
看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷的泪水开始流
轻声说道
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一
天我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

只对你说

站在寂寞的舞台上

灯光下拖着自己的影子

音乐重复我们共同的忧伤

不是每一次的演唱

就可以淡忘明天没有你

in my heart we'll never be apart

残留手上的香味提醒我

在数位相机里留下的承诺

每一封简讯传出的思念

都对你说

Sarang Heiyo means i love you

代表着我离不开你

每分每秒每一个声音

只有你撒娇会让我微笑

Sarang Heiyo 只对你说

i will love you and forevermore

我答应 baby you will see

每一个我都属于你

oh baby i will love you because

我都属于你

go away.

to all those people on my case for something or other, please, JUST GET OFF MY BACK!!!
cut me some slack can?

tomorrow is a public holiday. don't know what i want to do. should study... but really not motivated...

To-Do-List (in order of urgency)
school: study and catch up on what i've lost. especially bio and clinic lab.
school: find out what to do with the 3 people who's supposed to join us and inform/call them.
CADC: call freshies.
St. John: decide what i want to do.
inter-school debate: decide what i want to do and tell halim/terrence about it.
mentoring: call/sms my mentees.
St. John: ROD cards for all sec 4s.
SNA: decide whether i want to take up their invitation to join the Students' Charter Committee.


the rest of my CCAs are currently still inactive. thank God.

sigh... so many things to do, yet so little time...
Time Management: Fail.
Prioritising: Fail.

wait. supposed to meet Jie to mug tomorrow. but he didn't reply me / answer my call. damn it. nevermind, i shall just rot an home another day then.





[just let me sleep the days away...]
[standing at the crossroads of life, i've really no idea what to do.]

*lost*

as a million thoughts run through my mind, i don't know how to pen my feelings. i seem to have lost all my linguistic abilities and am now drowning in a pool of emotions. it seems as if i'm meeting obstructions whichever way i turn. whatever path i choose to take seems frighteningly arduous. i have got no idea what kind of decisions to make. they are all regarding different aspects of my life yet are at the same time, interlinked. one decision affects all others and i've no idea which decision to make first or what choice i should make.

as tears run down my cheecks and wet my pillow, i just want to shut everything out. i just want to find somebody to lean on and fall asleep for a long long time until everything blows over.

who will be my shoulder to lie on?

when things get too much for me to bear, who will be there?
when i need a hug, who will be there?
when i need support, who can i turn to?
when i'm sunk in confusion, who will give me a hand?
when i'm lost in darkness, who will hold my hand and lead me out?

please everyone, cut me some slack. let me concentrate on what most students do: study, go out, have fun etc. fall in love, make unrealistic plans about the future. smile, laugh, and play the days away...




[standing at the crossroads of life, i've really no idea what to do.]

i'm so T-O-U-C-H-E-D!!

I'M SO TOUCHED!!

'cos i found out that my babies went behind my back to plan a birthday surprise for me... so they apparently went through the files in st. john room to find out when my birthday was and started planning... i found out today 'cos they're all not old enough to book the room and sign out the key, so they called me.. but in the end, they asked one of their mummy for help...

thanks guys. really never expected you guys to do that for me...
LOVE YOU ALL!! *muacks*
haha

anyway, please do concentrate on your exams now, k?
in the meantime, if you guys need anything, you know just how to get me...

crossraods

Today. Mrs Toh and Mdm Yati called me about OTC. 5 sundays of theory followed by 3d2n camp on sat, sun & mon. besides being really worried that i may be on attachment on the monday that i'm supposed to have camp. then, i'm also expected to commit to national activities such as FAC(nationals) and NDP etc. theory wil be on sundays, so fine. but i'm not sure if i want to commit so much time to cluster/zone/national activities.

i mean, 1 of my biggest motivation in agreeing to go for OTC in the first place is because i want to commit to corps, not anywhere else. i requested that the TICs call me if no one else want to go for OTC, but they called me first. damned.

i love St. John, yes i do. but do i really want to commit that much time?

i mean, besides school, i've got debate, SHS club, SU, church etc. so...? i don't know really. besides, if my nre committee is unsupportive, then it's quite pointless, isn't it? despite so much advice from seniors that i should, but is that what i really want to do?

will my juniors support me? will i be able to fulfill my commitment? am i up to it?





[Standing at the crossrads of life,I've really no idea what to do.]

i'm sorry

ok, what happened on 3/29/2006 was a misunderstanding. i apologise.

please forgive me my selfishness and thoughtlessnesss.

~!@#$%^&*()_+

excuse me, but ~!@#$%^&*()_+

damn it.

used

what happened was, one of my cadets called me at about 0000hrs to ask a favour of me. he asked me to help him buy colored paper and then send it to school for him.

HELLO??!!

i'm your senior, your instructor, your friend. NOT your slave or maid.

i'm always willing to help you guys out of a tight spot but this is too much. AND YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT I"M INJURED!!

i've no idea what to say.

but i'm still sorry i couldn't help you.

the guy i like

was talking to some friends just now about the girls they like and the guy i like. am feeling really rejected now. i mean, i'm not asking for a lot, i just want a guy who's smarter than me. is that so very difficult?

there is actually a guy i like. but he, unfortunately, probably doesn't even remember my existence.

am i destined to be liked by guys i don't like and not be liked by the guys i like?

training today

ahaha. i never blog about debate because there's really nothing to blog about. but st. john? HA. that's a different story.

guess what? i sprained my ankle today. was doing TOC with the gus then i kind of stepped in to the drain?! well, something like that.

[sprained my ankle. AGAIN][left foot is numb][die]

all my hardwork?!

all my hardwork and the only thing i got in return was somebody saying that i do al that i do because i'm free?!

GOD, NO!

i do what i do for passion, for love.

was very subdued over dinner. guys were trying to cheer me up and make me talk. but sorry guys, i couldn't bring myself to.

i need some time to get over this.

new blog. new beginnings

wanted the backdrop to be in black, actually. but couldn't find a nice one, soo... this blog is going to sound really sad. cos' this is where i will put to words all my tears, fears and grief. i'm setting up a new blog cos the old one gave me some wonderful memories and i don't want to change that.